You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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