Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Found the puke drawer
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
