Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
