I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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