Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
