Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
