I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
