just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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