..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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