God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did I show you my penis last night?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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