We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
