and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Four minutes until I can fart!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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