You can't special order awesome
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
