cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
