Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
