I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
