You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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