Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
vagina is talking i cant
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
