butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
