I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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