..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
time to smoke my breakfast
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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