so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
