i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
