Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
