I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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