There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize