yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
