Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
