I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
