just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Less talking, more tequila
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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