Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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