Moan for me like Helen Keller
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
