You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
