Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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