problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
