It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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