We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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