my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
