her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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