question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
