Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
