3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ate ashes out of my bong
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize