so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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