I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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