Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
