I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
