butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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