why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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