Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
