i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just had sex bonerless
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
