The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
