Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize