So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
