you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize