Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
