I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hippo gnu deer
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
