NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The beer is more important than you right now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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