So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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