check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
