U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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