Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
