I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
