problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
